


Figuring It Out

by lifeinabeautifullight



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-06 20:14:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11043507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifeinabeautifullight/pseuds/lifeinabeautifullight
Summary: What J'onn J'onzz hears as his space daughter, Alex, starts to figure out her sexuality, and what he hears as Maggie embarks on a relationship with Alex.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There's not enough Space Dad fics out there, so here's one x

It was never for him to say.

And it wasn’t. He always felt guilty for knowing but he couldn’t help it - sometimes people just thought too loudly. Alex had. Hell, every day her mind was on fire since she met this cop at a crime scene.

_Who did she think she was? That was my crime scene. Jerk._

Alex’s attitude quickly changed, softened.

_She’s smart. Cocky, but smart. Kinda fun too._

The more time she spent with this Maggie girl, the more her thoughts shifted, turned into questions.

_Can I trust her? I can trust her._

_I like her…how? How do I like her? What do I like about her?_

Then something must have happened, or have been said one day, because the next time he saw Alex, her thoughts were all over the place.

_I’m not…no it’s not like that…but I do like her. Maybe. Maybe, I don’t know, why is this so hard? I’m nearly thirty, shouldn’t I know things like this by now? It’s just her, it’s gotta be just her but, but…_

_Vicky._

He had left before learning more about Vicky. Again, it felt wrong and he felt bad for hearing as much as he did but felt even worse for saying nothing. Alex was confused, scared, overwhelmed – he was helpless, knowing that saying anything would overstep boundaries and might make her push down her feelings further.

The next day he sees her, she uses the word and thinks about Vicky again.

_Am I gay? ‘Cause it’s not just Maggie, I felt something, it, with Vicky too. Didn’t I? It wasn’t nothing. Maybe not in the same sense as Maggie, Maggie feels different, stronger, I…shit. Why is this so hard?_

Again, he wants to hug her and tell her that she’s okay, that he loves her and that he just wants her to be happy but he can’t. It wasn’t his place.

He smiles as Alex becomes sure of it, of herself.

_I’m gay. I like Maggie. She’s smart, she’s tough and beautiful. She’s perfect_.

His heart breaks when Alex’s breaks.

_I was so stupid. I should never have kissed her. She never liked me, she was just being nice._

His heart heals when Alex’s does too.

_I have a girlfriend. Maggie is my girlfriend. Maggie actually likes me._

He tries to block out the things that he doesn’t need to hear but it’s hard because Alex’s thoughts are as loud as they are happy.

_Please nobody notice my neck. Please, I don’t want to have to make up some imaginary guy to have to explain those stupid hickeys. Perfect ass or not, Maggie you’re gonna pay for last night._

_Her abs, fuck, they’re perfect. She’s perfect._

_I wonder if she’d wear her dress uniform if I asked her nicely?_

He never feels more relieved when she asks the gang to meet in the bar, to meet the person she’s dating – she was particular with her wording that day – and he never feels more proud when she introduces Maggie to everyone with a shy smile which quickly expands as everyone else smiles, and welcomes the detective with open arms.

J’onn J’onzz loves his earth family.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally meant to be a one shot but was requested to add J'onn hearing Maggie's thoughts - so here it is! Thanks for all the love on this fic, it's very much appreciated! x

Without Alex present, the NCPD Detective was extremely guarded in both demeanour and mind when their paths crossed on the job. It was work, work, work or, depending on the time of day, it was a list of food places she was trying to narrow down to go to for lunch or dinner – nine times of ten, all healthy. J’onn quickly learned that Maggie had a penchant for vegan food.

However, when Alex was around, even in a working capacity, Maggie Sawyer’s mind was something else.

_Intelligent and gorgeous? Damn, Sawyer. You’ve hit the jackpot with this girl._

_Thigh holster, thigh holster, goddamnit, don’t keep staring at her thigh holster at work._

_Alex is gonna be running this place soon enough._

That last thought had made J’onn smile as he too knew that Alex was his natural successor. Yet what he didn’t smile at was something he quickly picked up on, something that made him want to wrap his arms around Maggie and hold her tight.

_I’m not good enough for her._

_Alex can do better._

_She’s gonna leave me for someone better and, honestly, I don’t blame her_.

He often wondered who had hurt her and vowed to sort them out if their paths ever crossed. The answer gradually came to him in small fragments.

_Fuck Valentine’s Day_.

_Fuck him. Fuck them._

Then one day there was a case. The DEO and the NCPD joined up to rescue a bunch of children. They saved them all, thankfully, and waited until their parents were tearfully reunited with their kids. Then he heard it and he knew who was to blame, who he would happily deal with if given the chance.

_My parents would have just left me. They’d never want to save their ‘little dyke of a daughter’. After all, I’m ‘going to hell’; there’s no point chasing after a lost cause, is there?’_

All those heartbreaking thoughts and yet she still smiled as she met grateful parents. She was remarkable, truly. And the day she allowed herself to think about Alex in a different, _special_ way, his heart soared. His smile was so wide, she would have known he had read her mind if she had seen it.

_I love her. I really fucking love her._

The words persisted on her mind for weeks, months even. When Alex got abducted, they were so loud he could hear them from far away.

_I love her._

_Please. Please let her be okay_.

J’onn popped in and out of Alex’s room when she had been resting after her rescue and he managed to refrain from beaming – and also, laughing – at what was going on in the detective’s head.

_Thank God, she’s okay._

_She’s not naming our dog fucking Gertrude though. Who calls a dog Gertrude?_

_When she wakes up, I’m telling her. She needs to know that I love her, I’m not taking that chance any more, I need to tell her._

And Maggie did tell her, emerging the medbay with Alex on her hip and only one thing on her mind.

_Alex Danvers loves me._


End file.
